but i am still most definitely going to be verbally inappropriate
My word I am not going to be cripple any more which I mostly expected I would-be but now I know that I absolutely am not going to be any more; but I still seem to be needing to prove myself to everyone I encounter and this is where I feel I I need to ask you to read my chapter on being an archaeologist – where i talk about having had the correct neural pathways once before and all I am needing to do is to excavate them, and my physical rehab has been so much easier to quantify,
but in essence my physical rehab has allowed me to get to the point where I need to use my cognitive pathways . for instance today I was in my favourite cafe and I had to remember the names of all of the waitressing staff and I could arrange to meet someone I needed to discuss with about lecture I was going to be giving . so, this is why my physical rehab has been so vital to my cognitive rehab
but I still need someone else to love and to be able to think about if for nothing else to take my mind off myself and my god I am rapidly coming to the conclusion that I am just so boring
I have been told by a chap in the swimming pool how well, I have done and I do not really know him he is just a chap who has been coming to the pool for quite a while and has indirectly seen my progress that I have made and he said to me that I need to keep up all of my exercises that i have been undoubtedly doing, and he too said to me that many people would not have come so far with their recovery and this chimes with what my school friends and mother said to me , now:
my mother knows me pretty well and she was a nurse and despite this was fairly practical and appropriate, and sensible and I was quite surprised when she said to me that it was only because of my dogged determination that I have come so far.
as where I cannot think everyone in the same circumstance would have done similarly
Exercise and depression
muscles, fat cells, and liver release a variety of molecules into the bloodstream. Some of these molecules which circulate through the body and where they can cross the blood-brain barrier. Once inside, they trigger a cascade of beneficial changes that can make one feel sharper and happier: one crucial change is the release of a growth hormone called brain-derived neurotrophic factor, or BDNF. When it comes to exercise’s positive effects on the brain, BDNF is first and foremost.
And there is always the Chicken and egg argument delivered by those couch potatoes i.e. is it the exercise on its own per se or is it just the mere fact of doing something that one enjoys that leads to the improvements in mood and memory .
our brains are like a spiders web of connections with links between different parts of the web and these links allow the brain to combine what we are seeing with what we are moving with our hands, all the while whilst listening to our kids squabbling over the remote control and it is the BDNF that is responsible for strengthening these connections, ‘hence the runners high ‘ and this leads me onto another benefit of the connections between different areas of the brain – and the more one practices using these connections then the more strongly they are held or formed ; so what this means is it is important to do exercise as well as practice the executive functions of the brain – it is a little bit like trying to grow grass without any fertiliser and in this analogy the EDNF IS equivalent to the fertiliser; and which connections are strengthened are all dependant on us, so returning, to the grass analogy if we want there to be a very good covering of grass next to the house then we will need to ensure we put a lot of seed there , and if you want to ensure your memory retains its clarity then you will need to practice using this and I am almost proof positive that this can be achieved because this is exactly what has happened me. My slate was essentially wiped clean or it was definitively removed from me. but the cleanliness of my slate must be considered under review , because I am Australian , assuming I still have any slate left to me and I am tempted to title this post the runners high and grass growing because I am pretty certain that the thought police would not be too happy with this
Is this all a human life is?: can it be just reduced to wistful contemplation because. sure, I have clearly not died i am pretty certain there are no such things as ghosts well certainly not ones that can type. I guess I am feeling like that is all I have now is my memories because liv has made it plainly clear to me that there is no going back
I have recently been presenting my story and how it was that I have come to be so much of a doughnut and how my family were told by the supposed exerts that I would end up not a lot better than a dodgy Brussel sprout and how it was that I lost everything that was dear to me dear to me.
First there was my wife and my family and career but not in one foul swoop and how it is I have come to be so and this presentation has got me to thinking about all of these things that I have lost and sure they are not completely removed from me but it is so far from what I ever thought I would have when I had a family and I cannot really hope for any more than wistful contemplation but it does Make me think because liv and i were so close, and given that is all I have now is this wistful contemplation . but it does make, me think is this all we are is it just memories of times past and in essence I have had the absolute marvellous opportunity to experience death and the second coming but without the beard and the walking on water , or any other adulation and so it is i have been given the chance to die to all of my loved ones but also to come back from death with my memories of what was , and to think about what I had, and perhaps this is all one can expect to have is to give ones children or loved ones memories of what is possible or achievable – and it is here that lies immortality
Not everyone is perfect not everyone remembers everything every time. and there are times when everyone forgets their mug of coffee and i have been thinking each of these small slip ups are emblematic of my brain injury and not everyone remembers everything very time and do I not know that given my unwanted experience of the scarers and and given my sense of humour i would just love to see the shiver ruining down their spine as thry read this
Living with and living through and i have lived through the trauma but now I am living with it well unsurprisingly it is the latter that is by far the worst and there is the long interminable . continuance of a life that I just do not think I should be living but worse than that it is s a life that I do not want to have to be live it is not just the separation from my friends and family it is the relative isolation from them all.
now I am from Australia . where I grew up and it is here that my real friends are. Those who really know me and who I am and more importsnly,
know where I came from: and
it is strange. I am always told I need to look forwards but it is one’s history that predicates one’s future or at least one’s reactions in the future and it is this that drives me forwards trying to ensure my life’s travail’s do not impact too much on my children , but it is a great thanks I must give thanks to my wife for ensuring toy are still lively but tht would be massive understatement or a very great misrepresentation of the facts
Lts hesr it for men
Now given everything that is swirling around in the news at the moment and the social media given feminism and the LGBT movement , well you may be mistaken To think men are truly subservient or worse of secondary importance as opposed to being the glue tht sticks everything together in more ways than just one ; and this is the purpose of this piece or it could be argued it is a cry for the facts to come out or for them to be a little bit more widely appreciated and sure I can hear you all say
I am just An Australian chauvinist but this is purely factual and only the fats will be recorded here.
Well there is s strong movement to remove the role of men at present such that a man must earn the money for the family and also be the shoulder to cry on for his wife and also he, must cook and clean,
and look after the kids as well as earning the family income
now from the moment one has their first child: all of the warning signs are present in the delivery room for all to see and men ignore these at your peril : well at my first born I was directed to the corner of the delivery suite by the mad- wife whose sole concern was to ensure I was properly and rightly denigrated for putting your wife into this this position now I am no expert in this because I was just a lowly intensive care consultant as opposed to an obstetric and gynaecology consultant but I am pretty certain that she had a small or significant role to play in creating this disaster. now from then on it goes from distinctly bad to quite definitely worse, as if you thought that could be at all possible as firstly you get to see your wife cry out in pain and fear and then meanwhile all you can hear between all of the yelling in a very confined hospital room is the mad-wife glowering at you for all that you have done to your wife who is presently wailing like a banshee and as you get to the end of this oncoming train crash you are still quite nervous, not just for your wife but also for your unborn child as well and all you can think of, are all of the I previous disasters that you have been called to as a doctor . and then as if this were not enough the aforementioned mad-wife then asks you if you want to come to the business end of the proceedings of your wife and cut the chord but no should come the answerbecauase you want to remember how it was as oposed to being left with any memories of how it is as if you did not have enough mental scarring of the day’s events. Now I was very certain I do not want to be left with any more mental scars. and then your wife rolls over and says I want another one not realising the abject terror you have just gone through. And compounding it all are all of the friends and relatives who focus on just your wife and are practically ignoring you like apiece of chewing gum on the pavement because for years and months at lest you will still have the mental scars of which your wife is blissfully ignorant of your terror and once again you are required to stand strong. As if nothing had happened it all was just like a normal day , and heaven help the husband who does not show some sort of solidarity with his blissfully ignorant wife a who gets all of the ayurvedic head massages I mean just how many heads can one person have. And most t importantly you do not want the head fixed but you want the business end all returned to some semblance of normality or beauty