this not me?!! who am i really

Unsteady  by  x Ambassadors  now  this is  a great song but it sort of  makes me  think which is never a good thing  despite it being  despite it Being   amazing  or deeply worrying for the lucky recipients of my thoughts but they should; rest  assured that it is amazing that  I can even think at all  but here I am having lost absolutely everything that I ever held dear to me: now if you  would permit me  a little bit of  unabashed  self-indulgent  wrist slitting here . no sure I have not actually died but I do just feel I may well have; but not in a suicidal way .  but FUCK IT   THIS is   not me??!!  I am  so much better than this bag of  of morosity  or this  fucking   pessimistic  but  here I am sitting again writing at my computer; lonely having lost my   my wife and kids and my occupation and  sure  I  have woken up  and the game has changed but I  still have to make  the best of it  and I   Have  so  much to look forward to  which includes  my  computer game  and getting my rhyme;  lub  dub   published and there is getting my website up and running  daddy day care