whisper it quietly i think my blog may be good for me

now I have had  to contend with the loss of  my   family and my identity to  a  greater or lesser extent .  because working  as  a doctor was  everything to me   and much more than that it was my entire essence because I loved feeling  that I was of  some help to someone , indeed ,my nickname used  to be selfless   and yes everyone says how well I am doing but I am not sure I   should be believing the  buggers. Well actually I am   pretty convinced I should not be listening to them at all. Because it potentially produces a chance of me feeling complacent.     And so, it goes   I am just,  having to  concentrate  on me, AGAIN, when by god I am so boring –


And if I listen to all of my  well-wishers And I lose the drive to carry on with my recovery. when as I   see it, I have so much further to   go. to be more consistently of help to people ‘ and much more than that I am  still in the midst of my existential crisis  ;   and this is because   I feel  I am just concentrating on me, AGAIN  And this is why  I need  a significant other  and  this is where   my blog may  be   good for me because . I am actually getting requests for my advice and they actually   want my advice and strangers are thanking me for my blog, it has been of real intangible help to people and today i gave a short lecture tro future scarers, and i think it  was the first time in years that i could actually see the benefit i was haavug  for people


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