death by scone, the customer is always right?!

My mouth is so dry. my word the human body it is so precisely organised and   the multitude of functions  it performs for  us for us, in the Background  and it just takes  the smallest perturbation   to  bring it all down like a pack of cards   enough to   completely knock it  off course   now I have lost all sensation I   my mouth, and because I  am so paranoid  appearing like  a drooling idiot  and this means  I do not open my mouth  fully or correctly to enunciate my words correctly  and hence I take some medications to dry up my saliva or my mouths secretions    which means I have a very dry mouth  so much  so  that  it makes  it  nigh on  impossible to eat  scones .  which I found  to my own great disappointment when I travelled to my favourite cafe and it rendered me completely unable to swallow my scone ; indeed I was  at  very serious danger   of  suffocating on my own scone   – forget water boarding,  I Was  at very real and imminent risk of death  by scone     and I  did what any  red blooded Australian would  do,  and quite naturally   I blamed  the chef and the cafe   of course  because obviously they had not coked my scone enough , and so it  was that  I was given pretty short shift tactually and quite clearly they had not  been  to the same waiting school  as   i had  attended  when  I  was a   kid;  I  was taught the customer  was  always right