there is nothing heroic in going to the loo

very recently    a   I was booked in to  see   the  gp  whom I  had not seen before and he  described me as being bit of  a  hero   and I  replied to him that whilst  i  was tremendously grateful for his compliment  I felt there   was  nothing   heroic  in going  to the loo; because I felt   that is all I  am achieving just now:  it is the hand  I have been dealt  and now  sure  it is truly awful . and all I am doing is trying to find a way to appear normal as much as   this galls me to say.

while it has also very much been a learning experience for me as i find new ways to function which are completely new to me i.e. ones that I have never had to do before to achieve what it is that I   am trying to achieve . such as  putting on my trousers now this  is  a   supreme act of balance for me and one where I need  to ensure I have  a wall to ,my left hand side in case I  do lose my balance  or then  I have my  emailing and messaging  to my friends  as opposed to just sending my messages I need to ensure I have spelt every word out in full and  I have not  missed out the beginning of the words  and I also need to  send all  of my messages  on my phone to myself so that I can read them in full  as I have written them  where   on the computer  it is much easier  to read my messages   as I have actually written them  and  then  and only  then can  I  send them back to  myself  on  and my phone and then  and only then can  I   send them on to the   incredibly lucky  recipient  of my  latest missive

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