searching FOR ME

Both metaphorically  and quite literally I feel I  am just old  news now and i do  not  seem to be able   to  speed  anything   up other than the rapid  march   of time, and I  went to lunch today with my family and liv asked me  if I would ever give up  on  my search for a job or for  some meaning , but I guess this is my answer , because for  me  my life was very much  defined by my  job which was not so much an occupation it was a vocation, it was me   and in more ways than I care to mention  i guess  this  is  what  I have been doing is searching for me . and it is a new me but one that   is left  with  the  memories of what  could have  been and I am just trying to  stay  consistent with these