i have finally escaped

I have escaped
I am finally reading a book and I have left the cage of me or my prison long behind – I know this is not exactly revolutionary depending on the choice of book but it is very significant for me, because for all too long or even for the entire length of time of my conferment , I have been stuck with just my own thoughts , to occupy me and I have not been unable to read a book or even a newspaper but instead I have been left with all of my very dark dark thoughts like An enormous fat cow chewing the cud and I have had to look so pleased with my lot for all of those around me and being stuck with my thoughts particularly
is not very healthy obviously, because
i have had to witness seemingly oblivious to the loss of my wife and kids and to me as well And I felt at times an unbearable pressure to be upbeat for all of my scarers
and which I note confinement it is the same term used by women , when they are pregnant but unlike with, me it is the exact opposite in that rather than producing something beautiful at the end of it well I am just me , and I am pretty confident that along with not being pretty like a new born baby I am quite confident that I am not beautiful

sure enough I am reading a short history of nearly everything by bill Bryson- and as if I need to tell you all how introvert I have become or sensitive , well the introduction talks about how tenuous our hold on to life is, and how real change of our species takes a Millennia; And all I can think of is how the one life I have been given I have completely ruined it , despite its promising start ; but my god I am absolutely determined to ensure my life does not impact on my kids, because I have had my chances and these have been so much given what my parents did for me

3 thoughts on “i have finally escaped

  1. What is beautiful? Beautiful is within Andrew. Beauty is not determined on the exterior of ones appearance. You as a human being are beautiful and kind. Everything you have inside of you is pure and real, which even the most physically ‘beautiful’ of people do not possess. Never doubt yourself, keep going strong and believe in everything you do.


    1. dear siphie i am so sorry to have not replied to you earlier and thank you very much for your very kind words but i must admit i think they are too complimentary or somewhat misplaced because they do not take account of my very dark thoughts


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