i do not want to just exist

now I am a very hard task master partly because I can remember exactly how easy I found it to do things such as tennis and now I am finding it so difficult, And I am really trying so very hard to not get too down about it all because sure I can hopefully do it again but my goodness I am going to have to work at it and it is because I need to do the hard work that I say my body is still rubbish or broken .but to everyone else all they see is me attempting to try to play tennis and they just see me doing g something challenging again and I am fighting to live and sure I have got the existence down pat but I do not want to just exist
and the easy answer to rthe question when did it all ehren did it all start well the accident would be a very obvious answer but I think it all began with my mother who instilled in us a real drive to better one self and a never ever say die attitude, and I think this was best displayed by my sister who was literally yelling at me when I was in my coma in the intensive care unit but it was my mother who definitely instilled in each of us that as long as there is a pulse then there is a chance to do something better and with this is the insurmountable determination and the phrase it is what it is would be a complete anathema to mum or dare I say it but it would-be equivalent to swearing for my mother and then there was dad who in essence allowed mum the platform upon which she could drive herself to perfection or every one else to distraction And so it was I woke up with vary ;little prospects or hope according to the supposed expects in neurology or the experts in levitating as I have referred to them given how little is known about how the brain can recover

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