the optimist and the doughnut, and death by a 1000 cuts the mother of all hangovers

An apology
Now for anyone I have offended with my blog such as using the term cripple to describe myself , I wholeheartedly apologise but firstly I hasten to add it is me who I am describing and I essentially went to bed married with a family and a career and also a body that was pretty good at endurance sports in that I had won a couple of triathlon’s and also i had a body that was quite useful and could turn its hands to almost anything and so it was I came back to existence in a hospital bed crippled and unable to walk or use my left arm now that was one hell of a hangover and i came to in a fog of delirium and there was no instant that my previous life was ended or was removed from me but instead my old life has been removed in a slow drip drip of interminable losses that have been and are continuing to be slowly removed from me despite it being an instantaneous event that had happened to me
But this might just reflect how much of a doughnut I am by not being able to anticipate everything that would be removed from me such as my ability to multi task:for example: giving presentations.
Because I am constantly paranoid about falling over and when I am presenting something I find myself concentrating on just standing up as opposed to what it is I am saying
and just being able to walk whilst talking on the phone I also find incredibly difficult I mean now I cannot even walk and chew a gum and thank goodness my parents instilled a dislike for chewing gum

but this might all just reflect how much of an optimist I am in that I am still waiting for my attributes to miraculously come back, or to just stop being removed from me and in many ways i would call it death by 1000 cuts and i am awake and cognisant for each and every cut and sure i know my poor parents and wife were told that i would end up in persistent vegetative state but i am not. and here i am now and whatever happened to me happened in the past and that does not mean i am not still desperate for more now NOW well who would not be when i can remember so vividly what i was like and how easy i found my life then

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