cycling and the metal head

Cycling now I previously said I think life should be  a linear process where by  one has to constantly move forwards   and in that direction there can   be no turning back which is why I am so determined to  get myself better and remotely near to  my previous physical state and also I am learning from  having conducted my own eulogy; well at least the research for my eulogy  I have learnt I was perceived as being  actually  quite a nice bloke  and possessed loads of  very good friends   and also now not to put to finer  point on it; it is going to be exceptionally  difficult for me to  ever get remotely near to my   previous physical state as Andrew   BC ; because   as if I did not have enough reminders of how bad I am, well  my cycling  is just so  awful and precarious even  cycling around my back streets of falifornia ,  but, as I  Have  said before  I have  a   metal head  and what  with wearing my helmet ; I think the car will end up  far worse than me