wrist slitting

I do  not know but I have lost  everything  that  has  any  meaning  for  , or   to me  i.e my family and my  vocation and my personhood I think  and despite me  feeling  like my old self I am told I am not me  And still I have to be upbeat despite my world having been not just  turned upside down but Inside out  but all I  am left with are my memories of a time long ago that seems to be almost untouchable but I  can sense it but just not touch it any more  , but it is because  of this sense that I   find so disconcerting because it is why I cannot let my past go   because life is all about moving forwards and despite me rarely feeling like my old self I am repeatedly told I  am  not me  anymore    and I would describe my old self as  Andrew  BC as being quirky and kind and generous and fiercely loyal  and hyperactive     but not in  an  ADHD  kind of   way  and oh yes I would also  say I was very self-appreciative   but again  not in a  wrist  slitting   kind of  way , and given all of that I am told that  I am just being too proud  , to not accept a   job of lesser character but to me that would   be just that  accepting  something that is less  and in  a round about way I just  cannot do something that is less because life is all about moving forwards  , and potential

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