wrist slitting

do  not know but I have lost  everything  that  has  any  meaning  for  , or   to me  i.e my family and my  vocation and my personhood I think  and despite me  feeling  like my old self I am told I am not me  And still I have to be upbeat despite my world having been not just  turned upside down but Inside out  but all I  am left with are my memories of a time long ago that seems to be almost untouchable but I  can sense it but just not touch it any more   and despite me rarely feeling like my old self I am repeatedly told I  am  not me  anymore    and I would describe my old self as  andrew  BC as being quirky and kind and generous and hyperactive     but not in  an  ADHD  kind of   way  and oh yes I would also  say I was very self-appreciative    but again  not in a  wrist  slitting    way because i was always optimistic