hopeles old romantic

romantic or just hopeless I spent last night with my  daughter watching mamma mia  And all I  could think about was how my life has been  thrown away by myself  in that I do not have anyone else to  think of other than myself  and As much  as my kids are so important to me I just do not find  ensuring their happiness is   not enough for me , especially since  they have been  taken  away from me by  my  accident  and I just cannot believe how long it is taking me to  find a meaningful position or person  then clearly I must  be just so ugly or stupid  And I  just  find  that everyone else’s lives are moving  inexorably ahead with such monotonous ease  and it is my endless uncertainty that I find so unbearable , as I  sit here infront of my computer again just   killing  time  till I have something  or anything  better to  do

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