i have pangs of guilt and remorse that I am becoming accustomed or accepting of my straightened times, up until now I have been literally fighting all of my obstacles , and I am so worried that I am just losing the battle to win or the impetus to win where victory would be a return to my old life where I had a respected job where I was helping people and there is still such a long way I need to go to get anywhere close to where I was before I had my accident and just I am at such a loss and that I have thrown my life away in an instant on that triathlon and people talk of life changing circumstances and although mine was not a full stop to my life I quite often feel it may of well of been
and i do not know how much of my complacency is the realisation of what exactly are, my weaknesses and I have just found a way to deal with them or more correctly how to work around them and my processes of dealing with hem are so effective that I no longer have any impetus to deal with them
