first world problems and balance

For literally everything    is ,making me feel angry and it  can  just be the  fact that   my sister is running late because she has  a meeting  or it can be that  my scarer has  not overtaken  a  slower driver in the car  or that  my supper has not turned d out well or that my cafe still  does not have  any cake that I love  and it is this host of   First world problems  that I seem  to be plagued with just now ,and at least I can recognise that feeling  angry is totally inappropriate and I just find it gets me down because I was never this way ever before   and it is this feeling I  am  struggling to  shake but it generally   gets me so  down because it leaves me with a low-grade feeling of  self -loathing   because I used to be such  a happy person and like I was intimating previously  that I felt so  beholdent to  all of these strangers whom had helped me in so many insignificant ways  , such as the   receptionist  at the local hotel pool  who always had  a kind word and smile for me  and now I appeared to be this angry young man

 

physiotherapy and   father’s day by Christ  am I just so buggered in that my sister who is a   trained neurological physiotherapist  has come over  with  a  world of younger sister Freudian baggage  and it has just taken  her just  a couple of weeks to point out all of the problems I am  having with my running and walking and also to put in place a training program that I will need to do to  get my running more efficient and   once again it  all, comes back to balance     and I do find  it so amazing how important having good  balance is for just  about everything  and even though I have  two legs unsurprisingly it is how well one strands on just one leg that  is the key marker of how well we will walk and turn  and when it comes to physiotherapy my goodness  am finding it excruciatingly painful because any sensation I do get  in my leg is interpreted as being noxious  sand I must also  admit to having a degree of sick pride in how far I have come from my accident and I  must  admit it  does help, to  give me a modicum pride in how far I have come with my rehab because Jane was  at my bedside from  the start of my  rehab  and remembers all of the the rubbish the  experts in levitating ( the neurologists ) said to my wife and my family about how I would  end up in a persistent vegetative state  and rarely or quite commonly  depending on the strength of feeling i am having on that   particular day  i do  feel somewhat cheated  of my life whilst i  still do not have a  have a purpose or a career

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