For literally everything is ,making me feel angry and it can just be the fact that my sister is running late because she has a meeting or it can be that my scarer has not overtaken a slower driver in the car or that my supper has not turned d out well or that my cafe still does not have any cake that I love and it is this host of First world problems that I seem to be plagued with just now ,and at least I can recognise that feeling angry is totally inappropriate and I just find it gets me down because I was never this way ever before and it is this feeling I am struggling to shake but it generally gets me so down because it leaves me with a low-grade feeling of self -loathing because I used to be such a happy person and like I was intimating previously that I felt so beholdent to all of these strangers whom had helped me in so many insignificant ways , such as the receptionist at the local hotel pool who always had a kind word and smile for me and now I appeared to be this angry young man
physiotherapy and father’s day by Christ am I just so buggered in that my sister who is a trained neurological physiotherapist has come over with a world of younger sister Freudian baggage and it has just taken her just a couple of weeks to point out all of the problems I am having with my running and walking and also to put in place a training program that I will need to do to get my running more efficient and once again it all, comes back to balance and I do find it so amazing how important having good balance is for just about everything and even though I have two legs unsurprisingly it is how well one strands on just one leg that is the key marker of how well we will walk and turn and when it comes to physiotherapy my goodness am finding it excruciatingly painful because any sensation I do get in my leg is interpreted as being noxious sand I must also admit to having a degree of sick pride in how far I have come from my accident and I must admit it does help, to give me a modicum pride in how far I have come with my rehab because Jane was at my bedside from the start of my rehab and remembers all of the the rubbish the experts in levitating ( the neurologists ) said to my wife and my family about how I would end up in a persistent vegetative state and rarely or quite commonly depending on the strength of feeling i am having on that particular day i do feel somewhat cheated of my life whilst i still do not have a have a purpose or a career
