existential BOREDOM AND DOWNING man

goodness I am  just so buggered in that  I have just become so soppy  and  so  sensitive   because I see hidden meaning in  everything  such as when I see a van driving by with  a sign on it  from   an area where my old hospital was or  it could be just an old  a couple I see Waking arm in arm together looking very  happy in  each other persons company and then there are the  film  shorts to a children’s film and these examples are a very good reason  why Think I need to be occupied all of the time  such  I need to be  constantly dong new things , because I am just so bored of  myself – I  have  come to the rather depressing existential realisation that I am stuck with myself  and he is bloody boring  and sure there are numerous reasons for this such as I am just grieving for my past life  but you know what knowing  the  reason is distinctly bloody unhelpful to deal with it: it is a bit like  being trapped in  a  sinking boat and knowing that there are  other  people who are drowning as well , now I can only assume this is not  exactly helpful knowledge to have whilst drowning.