learning to be me and living backwards

Learning to be me and living backwards

My friends are trying to find work for me but they are thinking that I need to do something that I find so menial  because they do not know what  I  can do but  although they are all very well meaning and all want the  best for me I know that  I am capable of  much more and I am exceptionally  conscious of not wanting to sound too arrogant But I  feel I am just having to prove myself to everyone all over again but this time it  seem s to be  so much ,ore intractable    I have not collapsed  that far   backwards I am  just starting from a very low ebb and I can almost do everything ; that I  could before  but I must admit that i have bitten off   too much to try to learn  first and foremost I have to learn who I am  and what it is to be  me and  what I I  need to do to be an independent  adult essentially  and this is what I find  is quite unusual  in that everything that I have taken as normal, I have had to relearn, such as  having to remember  to pick up my keys before I leave   a restaurant and remembering to not start eating until everyone  is seated and  to  not start   eating till l after the   ladies have  started eating    and as well as  these relatively prosaic things  I have Also had to relearn that one neds to constantly work backwards; such as when preparing food one firstly needs to get out a bowl to put all of  the wasted food in to and also when  driving anywhere one needs to plan when one wants to be at the place and then  work out how long  it will, take to get there  as opposed to just setting off and getting three by magic at the same time   and putting on clothes one firstly needs to put on  clothes that are going to be removed  last : now these are  all pretty bloody obvious you idiot I can hear you all say but I have found it quite a   strange revelation  to consider ; that we live our lives backwards .

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