Learning to be me and living backwards
My friends are trying to find work for me but they are thinking that I need to do something that I find so menial because they do not know what I can do but although they are all very well meaning and all want the best for me I know that I am capable of much more and I am exceptionally conscious of not wanting to sound too arrogant But I feel I am just having to prove myself to everyone all over again but this time it seem s to be so much ,ore intractable I have not collapsed that far backwards I am just starting from a very low ebb and I can almost do everything ; that I could before but I must admit that i have bitten off too much to try to learn first and foremost I have to learn who I am and what it is to be me and what I I need to do to be an independent adult essentially and this is what I find is quite unusual in that everything that I have taken as normal, I have had to relearn, such as having to remember to pick up my keys before I leave a restaurant and remembering to not start eating until everyone is seated and to not start eating till l after the ladies have started eating and as well as these relatively prosaic things I have Also had to relearn that one neds to constantly work backwards; such as when preparing food one firstly needs to get out a bowl to put all of the wasted food in to and also when driving anywhere one needs to plan when one wants to be at the place and then work out how long it will, take to get there as opposed to just setting off and getting three by magic at the same time and putting on clothes one firstly needs to put on clothes that are going to be removed last : now these are all pretty bloody obvious you idiot I can hear you all say but I have found it quite a strange revelation to consider ; that we live our lives backwards .
