time

TIME

I am deeply intrigued by time as a concept  that I wonder  our time on  this  planet is just  so  brief, and I do wonder when and if I   ever have a meaningful  job – I will feel  the march of time so constant or relentless and is it  our arrogance or self-importance that brings our mortality in to such sharp focus and sure the 5 or six years I have lost are just a drop in the ocean   of time but they  feel so   absolutely  vital  to me and my family and I do not know how much of this is  me just  being overly sensitive, such as there was a van  that  overtook my  car yesterday and it was just  a works  van that  had an address that  was similar to my old hospital  and that provoked a period of deep   melancholic  introspection  and it is just times  like this that  catches  one off guard that  provokes the greatest sense of remorse  but I  feel I have lost  so  much and it  Is  impossible to not be a  glass half empty type when it comes to thinking about  my future , and I do  still have a  good laugh such as the  time  t when I tried to   convince  my scarers that a  colleague of theirs   a south African scarer  had voluntarily had  his  leg surgically amputated  because the south African government were giving away Oscar Pistorius blades to anyone who was willing to have their leg  amputated in a drive to increase the south African  Paralympic medal tally , and the next scarer I had.  I I tried to  convince that  mr biscuit of the  turkey biscuit fame  was in training  to  become a vicar now Mr biscuit is a  most  godless man that  one could ever meet ,in terms of his demeaner and his topics of conversation , and would you think it was this one out of all of my tales that proved to be  the most difficult to  get the  scarers to believe – it does not say alot for Mr biscuit

And it was just last Thursday that I finally managed to meaningfully help someone; and by god it hsad bAen  an uphill struggle –  no  scrap that  because whatever I say about my struggle to provide any meaningful help  for  someone  else will just belittle it. and I am constantly amazed by, my friends and their generosity   or any ones generosity – even relative strangers two of whom came up to  me recently to compliment me on my  walking  because it has improved so much recently and they  felt that  I had obviously been  working alot on it  and  that they Had to  compliment me on all the hard work I had clearly put in  to it , sand it strikes me that I am erhaps unusual. No could you believe that, what I Crave is  some sort  of obvious role where I am helping  people