the tortuous road to recovery



i gues my  rehab truely  began with  a Rehab place in Bristol  my parents lived in Bristol in a flat- and  they  had come all the way over from Australia to rent a flat just so they could be close to their errant son and heir

I remember distinctly coming home from Bristol and being delivered in the wheel chair van to my front door and all, of the daffodils were out to greet me a far cry from the all-conquering hero that I had envisaged would be returning after my triathlon


Starting to walk again- and by god I bet  I was  insufferable when I finally came home because I could  sort of walk but not really Safely such that  my Scarers were under strict instructions from god knows who but I have my  suspicions  that I was not  to  be allowed to  walk unobserved at all ; which just lead to me coming  up with a whole heap, of spurious excuses  for asking the scarcer to go over, to the barn  so that I could get up  and  go to  the other  end of the kitchen  which was quite a large  kitchen space  and bear in mind it was also not  that long  before that,  when I was just walking  in the  play room which was just  in front of  the  three man sofa  because that way  if I fell  I would have a  soft landing  and when  I  say walking it was really just limping  and despite that  I still sent  the  Scarers off  on my spurious errands so  that  I could   walk some more;  it were also to, build up my confidence that  I  could truly  walk unaided because it  was  also  around this time hat  I  was walking with a handling belt which  was designed so that  a  scarer  could   support me if needed  easily whilst  I was  walking  ; and then there was the other period of 6 months’ time if I went anye I had to go   wearing an American  style gridiron sports  helmet   and this was for anywhere even  just the gp’s surgery, so  there I was sitting   in the gp’s  waiting room looking like a  disabled child with a special  helmet on and it was  about this time I  would  just go to  sleep wishing  that I could  just get a little better  because I felt so beholdant  to them because they had all worked  so hard just  for me to get better and get my life back on track because I felt I had owed it to them  because although physio is all about getting your body to try to  work again  against  the new constraints that the  bugger presents you with it is absolutely essential that you carry on  with the exercises because clearly  2 hours a day is woefully insufficient  and it is here that one needs to marshal your Scarers in to  different groups because they each have different  abilities  which you can  use  to  aide  your recovery   and depending on  who it was  I would ask one or other of them to come to physio so that they knew exactly the exercises I needed to practice to  do   , so that I could carry on with the exercises


Ground-breaking technique with ultra-cooling In  hindsight I was lucky to have been enrolled in the treatment arm   of the  therapeutic hypothermia study whereby  if you have patients with traumatic brain  injury  and during the very early phases of  their recovery if you  cool their  body down n to  just 35 degrees  it is hoped   that the brain will recover more completely  because in  essence it  will be less active and  an in essence it is in layman’s terms  is  hibernating and so requires  less oxygen  and nutrients (now I know one’s brain it is not  exactly doing a crossword when one is in a  medically induced coma- if you think about when you sleep your brain is still very active and there are a whole lot of  basic housekeeping tasks your brain is required  to do such as to keep you breathing  and  to   keep your  heart beating and if we can switch off these brain activities then all the nutrients and activity  going on  in the brain  can  be directed to  helping  it  to recover from the  injury

  1. First waking up from my coma Move from intensive care to regular ward. By god my brain was so addled I kept thinking g I was in other parts of  the country  some mornings I was  waking up in  a hospitals secretary’s office  or I was in an old flat in London or I was  in a future house in Cornwall ,or I had been  walking along the beach with Olivia , or just strolling down bond street on a Sunday afternoon, shopping with Olivia, and now I am left  with this sense of  an extreme sadness for what has Happened  because  liv can just see me as a patient in  a  bed still , and I guess you  cannot blame her because by god she has been through the mill  I mean  she  had a vegetable for a  husband and was told  to expect me  to   never be the  same  again and that was  if I  did actually


Survive but what can I say we were just two very small people who were confronted with  train  wreck     and I know I have supposedly  have  done quite well but it has been so slow  and I  still  find  I am having  extreme difficulty dong things that were almost second nature to me  such as  playing  tennis and I  just know I am going to  see my kids  racing off in front of me   both metaphorically and literally  tracing away from me with their ability  to  play sport, and I know it is relatively minor on the whole scale of life and death, I just wanted to be able to teach my kids something about playing tennis or running   and not be stuck on the side-lines just watching; and I do find it amazing that  how long it has taken me  to even be able to give the appearance of functioning  normally ; because meanwhile I have had to watch my kids all grow up and race away with all ,of their normal lives



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