The Book

  • The Triathalon Begins - August 4th, 2012   This was not going to play out well. Why did I have to do a triathlon on my wife’s birthday? But it was the local triathlon, and it would have seemed a shame not to take part. I’d been involved in helping to organise it, and I’d be back by one … Continue reading The Triathalon Begins →
  • the triathlon begins - August 4th, 2012   This was not going to play out well. Why did I have to do a triathlon on my wife’s birthday? But it was the local triathlon, and it would have seemed a shame not to take part. I’d been involved in helping to organise it, and I’d be back by one … Continue reading the triathlon begins →
  • Australia and Glasgow knives and liv - Ironically it was on  an  intensive care ward round  as a  trainee physiotherapist that I first realised I wanted to be  a  doctor  because I asked the person in charge of the trainees what the liver function tests were that the  doctors were all talking about and this chap rather  condescendingly  said to me ‘don’t … Continue reading Australia and Glasgow knives and liv →
  • rehab - Right: now ,I know my physical rehab has finished and despite  that I still have my huge perceptual problems such as when I am manoeuvring between chair s in a restaurant,  and  as well there is the lack of any sensation in my hand which makes; having any dexterity impossible  because I need to be … Continue reading rehab →
  • walking and scarrers - There are things I think of to drive me on: Like  A time when a friend of Liv’s and mine from Glasgow came down to stay and I fell over the table. In the old days he would have said, ‘Get up you clumsy fuck!’ But now he was being so kind to me, so … Continue reading walking and scarrers →
  • the end of formal rehab -     The End of Rehab Right now, I know my physical rehab has pretty much finished, even though I still have huge perceptual problems such as when I am manoeuvring between chairs in a restaurant. There is also the lack of any sensation in my hand which makes any dexterity impossible because I need … Continue reading the end of formal rehab →
  • My day today - We come back home for lunch. Food is one of the few pleasures that remain to me, which is why I have to be careful what I eat. Liv tells me I have to lose weight to make it easier for me to move around – she’s right, and there was one concision where I … Continue reading My day today →
  • WALKING -
  • the tortuous road to recovery -     i gues my  rehab truely  began with  a Rehab place in Bristol  my parents lived in Bristol in a flat- and  they  had come all the way over from Australia to rent a flat just so they could be close to their errant son and heir I remember distinctly coming home from Bristol … Continue reading the tortuous road to recovery →
  • walking and scarers -     There are things I think of to drive me on, like the time when a friend of Liv’s and mine down from Glasgow to stay and I fell over the table. In the old days he would have said, ‘Get up you clumsy fuck!’ But now he was being so kind to me, … Continue reading walking and scarers →
  • ruderless at sea - My god I feel so rudderless  out at sea on  an ocean  of self-doubt and uselessness and I do not   see what more I  can do to get a job ,  because I used to love my work it  had everything  I  could want from  work; where  I was providing a useful help to [people, … Continue reading ruderless at sea →
  • virtual reality and mermory - interesting things that I have come across from my recovery such as memory.  Now it is incredible that we do not even know what a memory is   – I mean for a painting that we all remember  such as the Mona Lisa  is it like a series of pixels? like a digital photo graph and … Continue reading virtual reality and mermory →
  • personality - Personality  My day today so I know I  should be happy because I get up in  the morning unsurprisingly enough and then  I do my exercise during the day and obviously his is all followed with  a fantastic coffee, and a piece of cake in  one of the numerous cafes that exist  in faifornia but … Continue reading personality →
  • stroppy teenager - fitness again, right now I am feeling like a stroppy teenager who has come off the football field having missed two kicks at goal and in a fit of pique throws his football boots on to the ground looking at  them  somewhat  accusatory  and this is exactly how I feel but it is not my … Continue reading stroppy teenager →
  • Australia and Glasgow knives and liv - Ironically it was on  an  intensive care ward round  as a  trainee physiotherapist that I first realised I wanted to be  a  doctor  because I asked the person in charge of the trainees what the liver function tests were that the  doctors were all talking about and this chap rather  condescendingly  said to me ‘don’t … Continue reading Australia and Glasgow knives and liv →
  • poetry - Good bye a tear in my eye my bags are packed this hurts me more than you will ever know goodbye my friend  I remember the good times they all seem so long ago look after the kids  I know you will  I just am so sorry to  have left you so it was not … Continue reading poetry →
  • dating -
  • aristotle and personality , and the scarers - Personality  My day today so I know I  should be happy because I get up in  the morning unsurprisingly enough and then  I do my exercise during the day and obviously his is all followed with  a fantastic coffee, and a piece of cake in  one of the numerous cafes that exist  in faifornia but … Continue reading aristotle and personality , and the scarers →
  • time - TIME I am deeply intrigued by time as a concept  that I wonder  our time on  this  planet is just  so  brief, and I do wonder when and if I   ever have a meaningful  job – I will feel  the march of time so constant or relentless and is it  our arrogance or self-importance that … Continue reading time →
  • tiredness - the  worst thing I think well, almost the worst thing because there are too many to list amongst the myriad of issues I have been left with a huge bag of issues a veritable black African   lesbian amputee of issues  or grmaine greer on a bad day of issues  is the tiredness because my tiny … Continue reading tiredness →
  • primadonnas - Now I must admit that i never thought Running would be something that I ever thought that I would be writing about with my recovery which just goes to show you all how long it has taken me to get anywhere near better. And I am still struggling to do even this but by god … Continue reading primadonnas →
  • MA in marriage - Now I  am trying not  think  about this too much  but I  cannot help, it but I feel I am    in  such emotional distress in  that  my life has been always been  dedicated to having a job where-by I am  helping other people  and more importantly there  is a career path with a ladder essentially  … Continue reading MA in marriage →
  • distress MA in marriage -   MA in marriage Now I am trying not  to  think  about this too much  but I  cannot help, it I feel I am    in  such emotional distress, in  that  my life has  always been  dedicated to having a job where-by I am  helping other people  and more importantly there  is a career path with … Continue reading distress MA in marriage →
  • MA in marriage and self worth Andrew Ad and Andrew BC -     MA in marriage; tears worth  and Andrew AD and Andrew BC Now I am trying not  to  think  about this too much  but I  cannot help, it I feel I am    in  such emotional distress: my life has  always been  dedicated to having a job where-by I am  helping other people  and more … Continue reading MA in marriage and self worth Andrew Ad and Andrew BC →
  • AGE AND STILL FUCKED BUT FIGHTING - AGE Now I am paranoid of getting older in that I feel I am having to start all over again and I have been  given so much less time to  do it in  and for  instance I am not  20 years old anymore and  I have dependants    and so it seems so do  others in … Continue reading AGE AND STILL FUCKED BUT FIGHTING →
  • aGE - Now I am paranoid of getting older in that I feel I am having to start all over again and I have been  given so much less time to  do it in  and for  instance I am not  20 years old anymore and  I have dependants    and  it seems so do  others in that their … Continue reading aGE →
  • age - Now I am paranoid of getting older in that I feel I am having to start all over again and I have been  given so much less time to  do it in  and for  instance I am not  20 years old anymore and  I have dependants    and  it seems so do  others in that their … Continue reading age →
  • learning to be me and living backwards - Learning to be me and living backwards My friends are trying to find work for me but they are thinking that I need to do something that I find so menial  because they do not know what  I  can do but  although they are all very well meaning and all want the  best for me … Continue reading learning to be me and living backwards →
  • AGE ROLF HARRIS AND GETTING PISSED and Andrew AD - i am absolutely paranoid of getting older in that I feel I am having to start all over again and I have been  given so much less time to  do it in  and for  instance I am not  20 years old anymore and  I have dependants    and  it seems so do  others in that their … Continue reading AGE ROLF HARRIS AND GETTING PISSED and Andrew AD →
  • DEATH BY A THOUSAND CUTS - death by  a thousand cuts  now I have had to endure my wife and family leaving me and  in  a process of leaving me  in stages  snd a series of  interminable steps because my brain made   a goldfish look smart  because i had less than a three a three second memory  and i am told … Continue reading DEATH BY A THOUSAND CUTS →
  • existential boredom - goodness I have just become so soppy  and  so  sensitive   because I see hidden meaning in  everything that I see such as when I see a van driving by with  a sign on it  from   an area where my old hospital was and this makes me think of my old life i have just thrown … Continue reading existential boredom →
  • existential BOREDOM AND DOWNING man - goodness I am  just so buggered in that  I have just become so soppy  and  so  sensitive   because I see hidden meaning in  everything  such as when I see a van driving by with  a sign on it  from   an area where my old hospital was or  it could be just an old  a couple … Continue reading existential BOREDOM AND DOWNING man →
  • existential boredom - i am just so buggered in that  I have just become so soppy  and  so  sensitive   because I see hidden meaning in  everything   such as when I see a van driving by with  a sign on it  from   an area where my old hospital was or  it could be just an old  a couple I … Continue reading existential boredom →
  • the chocolate oven glove and the age of perception -   The Chocolate oven  glove and the age of perception We have entered The age of perception or the age of the perceived : I think  therefore I am such as   we have   virtual reality nd then there is the  focus on mental health and it is a little like me in that I feel … Continue reading the chocolate oven glove and the age of perception →
  • mormons chocolate oven gloves and perception - The age of perception we have entered the age of the perceived : I think I am therefore I am such as we have virtual reality and the focus on mental health and it is a little like me in that I feel I am being pulled to my left and backwards despite  me being … Continue reading mormons chocolate oven gloves and perception →
  • changing lives detritus of andrew BC a stuperfyingly embarrassing chocolate oven glove - I i am regularly told that  everyone’s life changes as they move through  their life  but at least for most people their changing life  is in degrees and small steps  where they have had soim time to deal with their newly constrained  life  except for me I have been   instantaneously resurrected in  to a limping … Continue reading changing lives detritus of andrew BC a stuperfyingly embarrassing chocolate oven glove →
  • marvellous mediocrity space occupying lesion - sure I have gone from being  a vegetable or a  Brussel sprout  to being a relatively normal appearing and acting  independent  adult  and i am  also quite regularly asked why I have managed  to recover so far but I answer them  that I do not think I have recovered  that far  I still see myself  … Continue reading marvellous mediocrity space occupying lesion →
  • existential boredom - My goodness I am  just so buggered in that  I have just become d so soppy  and  so  sensitive   because I see hidden meaning in  everything I  see and hear  such as when I see a van driving by with  a sign on it  from   an area where my old hospital was or  it could … Continue reading existential boredom →
  • thee stuperfyingly embarrassing chocolate oven glove - least for most people their changing life  is in degrees and small steps  where they have had some time to deal with their newly constrained straights as  where for me I have  instantaneously been resurrected  to a limping mental cripple but again there I  go calling myself a cripple but  I used to have  an  … Continue reading thee stuperfyingly embarrassing chocolate oven glove →
  • EXISTENTIAL BOREDOM - My goodness I am  just so buggered in that  I have just become so soppy  and  so  sensitive   because I see hidden meaning in  everything I  s  see and hear such as when I see a van driving by with  a sign on it  from   an area where my old hospital was or  it could … Continue reading EXISTENTIAL BOREDOM →
  • changing lives self flagellation and an ocean of regrets - regularly i am told that  everyone’s life changes as they move through  their life  but at least for most people their changing life  is in degrees and small steps  where they have had some time to deal with their newly constrained straights as where for me I have  instantaneously been resurrected  into a limping mental … Continue reading changing lives self flagellation and an ocean of regrets →
  • marvellous mediocrity - now sure I have gone from being  a vegetable or a  Brussel sprout  to being a relatively normal appearing and acting  independent  adult  and i am  also quite regularly asked why I have managed  to recover so far but I answer them  that I do not think I have recovered  that far  I still see … Continue reading marvellous mediocrity →
  • n Australian with finesse??!!! -   Now I have had my cosy limping bubble well and truly pricked  just now , so I have been blithely going about my day  pretty much being able  to do    most things  – which let’s be honest they are no great feats  of  athleticism they are just running and walking to my next piece … Continue reading n Australian with finesse??!!! →
  • tennis - Now I have had my cosy limping bubble well and truly pricked  just now , so I have been blithely going about my day  pretty much being able  to do    most things  – which let’s be honest they are no great feats  of  athleticism they are just running and walking to my next piece of … Continue reading tennis →
  • racing to stand still - now sure I have gone from being  a vegetable or a  Brussel sprout  to being a relatively normal appearing and acting  independent  adult  and I am  also quite regularly asked why  or how I have managed  to recover so far but I answer them  that I do not think I have recovered  that far : … Continue reading racing to stand still →
  • time and meritocracy - Time and Meritocracy  now I find time is such an interesting concept in  that sure it is necessary to mark the  passage of  something  or the development of something  and the easiest way to   do   this is with time    and   the passage of   time; but  time  seems to be contingent on what we are … Continue reading time and meritocracy →
  • the omniscient omnipotent maleficent being - now I am told that what separates the wood from the chaff is when and how you deal with adversity and it is All well and good just travelling along with your life laid out infront of you without any obstacles and some obstacles are placed by yourself and others are placed in front of … Continue reading the omniscient omnipotent maleficent being →
  • bike riding scarers and helmets - riding a bike i am finding  extremely difficult but i  guess  when one thinks about it   that it is hardly surprising  because  when I am walking or just standing I am feeling like I   am being pulled over and towards my left and backwards then I guess  it is  hardly surprising I am finding riding … Continue reading bike riding scarers and helmets →
  • death by a thousand cuts - death by  a thousand cuts  now I have had to endure my wife and family leaving me and  in  a process of leaving me  in stages  snd a series of  interminable steps  all on view by a scarer and there is my dam brain injury that seems to leave me incapable of looking  like  i … Continue reading death by a thousand cuts →
  • bike riding death helmets and kiddy torturers - Who ever said it is just like riding a bike  once learnt never forgotten; but as well as proving many self-appointed experts wrong- I did not  think it was going  to  extend to the list of sayings and anecdotes that everyone says ; but I guess  it is hardly surprising that I am Having difficulty … Continue reading bike riding death helmets and kiddy torturers →
  • 21st medicine aristotle and the misrepresentation of medicine - trhis is a small piece  ipublished as andrew BC: i recently attended the funeral of the local parish priest and this led me to consider many of the similarities between what I do in medicine and the role of the ‘Parish Priest’ as well as the ‘misrepresentation’ of 21st medicine. I work in intensive care, a … Continue reading 21st medicine aristotle and the misrepresentation of medicine →
  • chicken eggs and friends - and loved ones Now almost not  a single day  goes by when I  do not count myself  lucky for all of my friends  because they have each and everyone of them have all been  instrumental in helping me to  find me and these people are not just my friends from before my accident   and they  … Continue reading chicken eggs and friends →
  • luck?? and friends -   Now I may well be going against all that I have said recently regarding my friends but I do not believe in luck lat all. I just believe there is a tremendous amount of work one does prior to an opportunity coming along so that when it does you are in the best position … Continue reading luck?? and friends →
  • personhood - Personhood , now as we wrestle with our thorny questions of self  and virtual; reality and artificial  intelligence I  cannot help, but be reminded of my father in-law wrestling with his equally vexing question: is  it better to be upper middle class or lower upper  class  and as we  all race towards   dementia all we … Continue reading personhood →
  • loss - i do not think I properly grieved for my wife and my family that I  lost and some one else came along that I met  whom i felt would have been perfect for me  , and she has said  in no uncertain terms that she  is not interested in me  and I know it is … Continue reading loss →
  • chickens and eggs and friends - and loved ones Now almost not  a single day  goes by when I  do not count myself  lucky for all of my friends  because they have each and every one of them have all been  instrumental in helping me to  find me and these people are not just my friends from before my accident   and … Continue reading chickens and eggs and friends →
  • first world problems and balance - For literally everything    is ,making me feel angry and it  can  just be the  fact that   my sister is running late because she has  a meeting  or it can be that  my scarer has  not overtaken  a  slower driver in the car  or that  my supper has not turned d out well or that … Continue reading first world problems and balance →
  • - Now I do not know how long I am  going to be living in this living hell where I can pretty much do everything but it is so inelegant   as much as any Australian can  be described as Being elegant  and lacks any spontaneity such that  I had my kids over to  stay for the … Continue reading →
  • still schizophrenic and postural sway - schizo  now apparently it is  all  quite normal to  have    a  barely imperceptible sway and so it goes that for   me my imperceptible has become almost overwhelming   and it is this that makes m feel like I  am walking on  a tight rope and I  cannot really describe it, it  just feels that I  sm … Continue reading still schizophrenic and postural sway →
  • Andrew A.D. - A NEW ME My god I am just so broken and although I have been given a second chance I just feel so broken and so removed from my previous life .and my new life as andrew AD is certainly not off to a flyer and I have found a chance at a new career, … Continue reading Andrew A.D. →
  • mental health - h yes I sm repeatedly told how well I have done having gone from  vegetable to a nearly independent  adult in 6 years but I just do not see it because all I  can see are  the 6 years(years),  that have been taken  from me  and my family and also that despite how well  I … Continue reading mental health →
  • bipolar perhaps??!!! - Am I  forever to be defined by my mistake ; by  god I guess I am going to  be thus but I am just fighting so  hard to ensure my family  will not be defend by my mistake as well  and I sometimes just find myself so removed from their lives ,and all chances of … Continue reading bipolar perhaps??!!! →
  • is it me or was it me? - me  and once again I find myself  questioning how lucky I  am in that I have been  given the chance to literally reinvent myself  and  I am making  it sound like  it was a great opportunity to be able o to reinvent myself but I  can  assure you it was one that I most certainly … Continue reading is it me or was it me? →
  • bravery - have been  amazed at the number of incredibly brave people I have come across and it has made me completely reappraise my definition of what  bravery  is  and it is  not what one  has had to contend with that makes  a  person brave   and neither is it  the manner of how we conceal them or … Continue reading bravery →
  • a greater good - to all intents and purposes i had a great day yesterday in that I went for  a run And a swim and met some friends  on the beach and yet I cannot seem to shake this feeling of being useless and rudderless I need a  higher purpose a greater good that I need to be … Continue reading a greater good →
  • parlous busking - i am just so paranoid of being just another  fucker, sad and divorced and lonely   and once gain I am acutely   aware  of sounding incredibly arrogant here  by not really having anything to  distinguish me  from anyone else  in the same parlous situation , but why  should there be  anything to  distinguish me, but my … Continue reading parlous busking →
  • a message from my friend - as a survivor of a serious head injury, you are an absolute walking miracle, a true testament to your perseverance, motivation and unwavering courage.  Never ever loose sight of the enormity of how far you’ve come. Those of us around you have been amazed to witness each victory however small on this marathon journey. And … Continue reading a message from my friend →
  • Bd brusel sprout - freel i have lost t so much of just being able to  sit down and be content – not ecstatic just content I  think I have given up on that ecstatic feeling ever again which is a great shame sand I think it is my lack of contentment that is the root cause of my … Continue reading Bd brusel sprout →
  • i am an air head - is my lack of contentment that is the root cause of my general unhappiness with my current parlous state  of existence  because all things   considered I have come quite a long way I remember the occupational therapist e getting me   an enormous  automatic inflatable double  bed  sized thing for me    with a great deal of … Continue reading i am an air head →
  • a dodgy Brussel sprout - c This is what I  feel  I have lost  so much  ojust being able to  sit down and be content – not ecstatic just content I  think I have given up on that ecstatic feeling ever again which is a great shame sand I think it is my lack of contentment that is the root … Continue reading a dodgy Brussel sprout →
  • endless uncertainty - Endless uncertainty I am getting so down at the lack  of any opportunity to  discover anything new and the waking up each morning or going to bed each evening  just hoping the next day will bring  something new  to do with my life  so  perhaps I should be  calling this endless certainty  – but I … Continue reading endless uncertainty →
  • sheer terror - i have pangs of guilt and remorse that I am becoming  accustomed  or accepting  of my  straightened times, up until now I  have been literally fighting  all of my obstacles  , and I am so worried that I am just  losing the battle to win or the impetus to win where  victory would be a … Continue reading sheer terror →
  • hopeles old romantic - romantic or just hopeless I spent last night with my  daughter watching mamma mia  And all I  could think about was how my life has been  thrown away by myself  in that I do not have anyone else to  think of other than myself  and As much  as my kids are so important to me … Continue reading hopeles old romantic →
  • wrist slitting - do  not know but I have lost  everything  that  has  any  meaning  for  , or   to me  i.e my family and my  vocation and my personhood I think  and despite me  feeling  like my old self I am told I am not me  And still I have to be upbeat despite my world having been … Continue reading wrist slitting →
  • wrist slitting - I do  not know but I have lost  everything  that  has  any  meaning  for  , or   to me  i.e my family and my  vocation and my personhood I think  and despite me  feeling  like my old self I am told I am not me  And still I have to be upbeat despite my world having … Continue reading wrist slitting →
  • the devil and the deep blue sea - years-  6 years I have been stuck like this  a lesser human  and I  say this lesser  human  because I am still so far from where I was physically and life for me is all about ,moving forwards  and still I am  waking up every morning and going to my  kitchen to shake the living … Continue reading the devil and the deep blue sea →
  • mental attitude - My mental state –  well I guess s this is  an  improvement to admit that  i  may even have a mental state; but it would  take me  just four letters to make the word to describe ,my  mental state  well lets call it six letters to make the word  an adjective   in the past tense … Continue reading mental attitude →
  • cycling and the metal head - Cycling now I previously said I think life should be  a linear process where by  one has to constantly move forwards   and in that direction there can   be no turning back which is why I am so determined to  get myself better and remotely near to  my previous physical state and also I am learning … Continue reading cycling and the metal head →
  • i am just like water - I am just like water and certainly not that  i am  anything pure or clear or  unambiguous  but i am   nothing interesting or intoxicating  and I do wonder if this is why I find myself so  boring  and as a plumber once said to me to me that when you have a leak the water … Continue reading i am just like water →
  • i am just a drink of water an addendum - water an addendum  now I know I am not a cripple  but as I have said before i should not use that word but I  am  product of my upbringing and in  the 80’s at an all boys Australian school they were the terms we used along with the uncos and the fatties that  described … Continue reading i am just a drink of water an addendum →
  • a new life - I am told that I can appear r to be too negative or dwelling on all of the things that have happened to me as a result of my accident and there are two things I would like to say about this but it is definitely a case of ALL of the things, as opposed … Continue reading a new life →
  • - GHANDHI INTRODUCTION: Can one be an inspiration doing nothing at all? well, I suppose the title to this blog piece is the answer to this question but it is All I feel I am doing just now but not for any great political cause but by nature of my necessity and my friends regularly tell … Continue reading →
  • i am still amazed the wet hand shake - Now I am still amazed each And every time I get to use my left arm and hand I do not know how many years I have been able to use it for. but it must be at least years that I have been able to use it but every time even now when I … Continue reading i am still amazed the wet hand shake →
  • balance - Balance , now this is really my bogey man the elephant in the room now I know this must sound ridiculous but also this is such an interesting metaphor to use because I wonder what my subconscious is Saying to me because I certainly used to be a bit of an elephant when I weighed … Continue reading balance →
  • my ‘new’ arm - y My, new, arm even now despite it being many years since I have had some movement in my left arm I am still constantly amazed or, at the very least constantly pleased that I have two arms and every time I get to use my left arm I sort of smile to myself that … Continue reading my ‘new’ arm →
  • the tiny small insignificant victories - The new me now I alluded to this in my last post titled my new arm and i said that I had lots of tiny and relatively significant victories. now the reason why I consider them insignificant because they really are not that special for anyone else and indeed if they are viewed on their … Continue reading the tiny small insignificant victories →
  • and the red rag too a bull still raging - The new me 7 years on now I Would have not have anticipated that it would have taken nearly 7 years to get back to this pint now do not laugh but I am signed -up to do a half marathon tomorrow and it is in Falmouth and this is it is not exactly renowned … Continue reading and the red rag too a bull still raging →
  • oxygen tents and sundials - years now I Would not have anticipated that it would have taken nearly 7 years to get back to this pint now do not laugh but I am signed -up to do a half marathon today and it is in Falmouth today and this is it is not exactly renowned for its savannahesque wide open … Continue reading oxygen tents and sundials →
  • the damaged brain and the bowl of cooked spaghetti - thinking who are we Am i just a brain it is the seat of us and most importantly it contains our memory which directs our actions and reactions to events that happen to us just now. and I have been told numerous times how I, must appreciate the injuries I have had will have long … Continue reading the damaged brain and the bowl of cooked spaghetti →
  • the mole and the massive cow pat - An apology Now for anyone I have offended with my blog such as using the term cripple to describe myself but I hasten to add it is me who I am describing and you pl must please renumber I essentially went to bed slightly nervous about the triathlon the following day and I was married … Continue reading the mole and the massive cow pat →
  • the optimist and the doughnut, and death by a 1000 cuts the mother of all hangovers - An apology Now for anyone I have offended with my blog such as using the term cripple to describe myself , I wholeheartedly apologise but firstly I hasten to add it is me who I am describing and I essentially went to bed married with a family and a career and also a body that … Continue reading the optimist and the doughnut, and death by a 1000 cuts the mother of all hangovers →
  • The massive fly swat and tennis - Tennis Now I am trying to play tennis again and sure enough it seems to get all of my weak points in that there is my left arm which along with not having a lot of sensation in it . and also my left arm could not fight its way out of a wet Paper … Continue reading The massive fly swat and tennis →
  • i do not want to just exist - now I am a very hard task master partly because I can remember exactly how easy I found it to do things such as tennis and now I am finding it so difficult, And I am really trying so very hard to not get too down about it all because sure I can hopefully do … Continue reading i do not want to just exist →
  • i do not want to just exist and where did it all begin - now I am a very hard task master partly because I can remember exactly how easy I used to find it to do things such as playing tennis and now I am finding it so exceptionally difficult, And I am really trying so very hard to not get too down about all of ,my struggles … Continue reading i do not want to just exist and where did it all begin →
  • i have finally escaped - I have escaped I am finally reading a book and I have left the cage of me or my prison long behind – I know this is not exactly revolutionary depending on the choice of book but it is very significant for me, because for all too long or even for the entire length of … Continue reading i have finally escaped →
  • team work - me   how much of our life is team work  and by that  I am not talking   about a 15 man  rugby team : I am talking about  the moments that we share with others  to  get us  by or through our day  and it is this shared sense of responsibility ; that  I really miss … Continue reading team work →
  • buddhism - i have just come back from Holiday in Australia   trying desperately to live in the moment But  it is my lack of contentment that I  feel so keenly  and I cannot   Work out is it what I have lost  or  what I. STILL I do not have   and I can tell you  it is not   … Continue reading buddhism →
  • searching FOR ME - Both metaphorically  and quite literally I feel I  am just old  news now and i do  not  seem to be able   to  speed  anything   up other than the rapid  march   of time, and I  went to lunch today with my family and liv asked me  if I would ever give up  on  my search for … Continue reading searching FOR ME →
  • i am an aechaeologist - I have been told or at least my family was told that I cannot or  could or would not be able to summarise anything or assimilate information or distinguish the main point from a paragraph or a set of information. And, neither would I be able to retain information long enough to do these things … Continue reading i am an aechaeologist →
  • there is nothing heroic in going to the loo - very recently    a   I was booked in to  see   the  gp  whom I  had not seen before and he  described me as being bit of  a  hero   and I  replied to him that whilst  i  was tremendously grateful for his compliment  I felt there   was  nothing   heroic  in going  to the loo; because I felt … Continue reading there is nothing heroic in going to the loo →